When Henry’s New Years resolution was to “let go of being bullied” you can imagine how many feet my heart sunk.  Terror.  Fury.  My flight instinct kicked in at lightning speed.  We’ll get him tested for APP, we’ll send him to Thurgood-Marshall, we’ll get him out of there.  Oh, the rabbit hole and how fast I go down into it.  But then.

But then (over winter break, I might add) I emailed his teacher a long and sad email about my heart and Henry’s heart and how we need help.  And God bless the woman who responds to me ON HER BIRTHDAY about how she’ll take care of us.  How she has strategies and she will help.  My flight response eases up.  And then.

And then I casually mention to a few friend parents at school this whole mess about bullying and a friend mom says to me “Have you talked to the school secretary?  She’d know who’s doing it.  She knows everything.  Do you have a relationship with her?  I’ll go with you to talk to her.”  And I think to myself, “Wow, she cares about us.”  And then.

And then the next day after school at the park I’m talking to other friend parents and this whole mess about bullying comes up again.  A friend mom hears me and immediately yells out to her kid, goes to talk to him, comes back and says “T doesn’t know who’s doing it.”  She had gone, within seconds of hearing about it, to ask her child if he knew who might be hurting my kid, and tells me that he and another child will be there for Henry on the playground.  If he ever needs support at recess, he can go find them.  They are bigger and older than him and they will look out for him.  I thought “Wow, she cares about us.”

And it’s not just thinking that’s going on, it’s the feeling that’s happening.  It’s feeling like, holy crap, we have a COMMUNITY.  We have a COMMUNITY that I didn’t know existed.  These people actually CARE that someone is hurting MY child.  And that flight response?  It’s gone.  So far gone. How could I flee this place of people looking out for one another?  And then.

And then Henry comes out of the woods with a couple of other kids.  And one of the kids stands there with his mom and tells me bravely and articulately that another kid called Henry the “B” word and hit him with a stick.  And his mom tells me that the other child has been a problem before and asks her child, “A, will you look out for Henry at recess?”  And A agrees that,  yes, he will look out for Henry at recess.  And now.

And now I’m so wrapped up in gratitude and in awe of these people around me that I have to explain to Henry why there are tears in my eyes.  No, pal, you don’t have to look up at me and twist your hair out of nervousness.  Mama isn’t sad, mama is just surprised that so many people around us will take care of us, and we get to be a part of that, and take care of them, and that this is our place.  Mama didn’t know that net was there for us.

And Henry, don’t you know?  Bullying is terrible, and the way this kid is making you feel is absolutely not okay.  It will end.  I will ensure it.  But this community of ours?  It has provided kids to look out for you on the playground, it has reacted to our situation swiftly and efficiently.  This community of ours?  We didn’t realize it was there before the kid started being a jerk, and that is the bright spot.