There’s been a common theme amongst my friends lately, and it’s one I can also relate to: feeling depleted.  As women, friends, wives and especially mothers we give and we give.  What I’ve been hearing from my friends is that they’re having to be very intentional about caring for themselves, or they’re finding themselves feeling more like a shell than a full person.  These conversations have got me thinking about how I replenish myself during times of stress, conflict, confrontation, over-working (very present issues in my life as of late).

One friend who just returned from a long family vacation with her in-laws said that before she left for her trip she thought hard about what would really provide “vacation” on her trip.  She decided she wanted to walk every day and eat fruit.  Her family around her ate junk food and lazed around (which very well could have been filling their tanks for them – we’re all different), but my friend stuck to her plan.  Not only did she come home tan, she came home clear-headed.  I so admire the conscientiousness with which she approached her trip and how she truly made it into a vacation for herself.  Traveling with two kids and many extended family members can be stressful, but with your focus on the the things that make you feel rejuvenated (focus on yourself), everyone is taken care of.  Fruit and walks.  Easy peasy.

Another friend remarked to me that she was feeling like an emotional and physical wreck.  I could relate.  Summer has a way of putting you through the wringer and I could tell my friend was feeling as though the current was a tad too strong.  But I know my friend well.  I know she loves to write and that when she’s writing, she’s more connected to herself.  I know she loves naps and that when she gets them, she feels taken care of.

I think we all need reminders of the small acts that balance the scales when they’re tipped too far toward “everyone else”.  My friend said to me “Sometimes I don’t exercise because there’s too much laundry to do, or because I feel guilty and want to spend time with my kids.  And it might sound selfish but you’re really all you’ve got.  You’ve got yourself and your health, and those things need to be priorities”.  I think she was gently hinting about the amount of times I’ve bailed on going to yoga with her lately, but she’s just so very right.  We need to be as high a priority as our families and our kids.

If I were to make a short list of the things that make me feel whole I would include the following:

*  Alone time

* Waking up early to meditate

* Walking, especially with friends

* Yoga

Simple, easy, (mostly) free.  Should be a no-brainer to weave them into life, but I have been doing exactly zero of those things lately.  Well, aside from alone time.  I am alone right now and it’s pretty glorious.

I am grateful to my friends for being a mirror, for reminding me to take care of them and to take care of myself.  We’re in this together and if we remember that and remind each other to do the things that nourish us, it makes this whole life thing a whole lot easier.